Do You Claim Your Spouse?

A few weeks ago I was introduced to a gentleman like this.               

My friend: “Meet John, he is married to Susan, you know his wife Susan from work.”

John: (in a snarky tone of voice) “I’m NOT married to Susan, SHE is married to ME.”

I walked away wondering what does that mean?  John’s response, although he was trying to be funny, seemed demeaning to his wife Susan.  It was weird.  The exchange made we wonder if he was ashamed or embarrassed by her?  He didn’t seem too excited to claim her as his spouse.  Ok, I admit if my hubby said that about me I think I would be ticked.  (Incidentally, I know Susan and I think she is a really good person.)

Women, and probably men too have a need to feel chosen.  This need never really goes away even if you have been together for a long time. It reassures us that our spouses are still glad they picked us and THAT fuels our sense of security in the relationship.  If we regret who we selected for our spouse then… that’s a bigger issue and needs to be addressed in a better way than a sarcastic comment disguised as a joke.